On June 23, 2001 Scott and I exchanged marriage vows. Every month, on the 23rd, we have what Scott calls our “lunar-versary”. We don't celebrate in any elaborate fashion, but we reconfirm our vows again each month. It is something we anticipate and enjoy. We have repeated, recited, and remembered our vows 243 times!
Some may consider this excessive, but we take our commitment seriously. We want to make sure we are keeping our promises. We want to address area for growth. We don’t want to get complacent and forget!!
Scott and I do this because we cherish each other and truly cherish the boundaries in which our marriage exists! We love our vows because we love each other. We thought this would be a fun and different way to keep our promises fresh and on our hearts.
I’m not writing all this to glorify our marriage, or to say this is the best way to show commitment. But, it came to mind this week. I was thinking about all this in response to a question I was asked:
How do you view the law (the Torah) of God? By Torah, I mean the Old Testament laws that were given to Israel.
What feelings does that word, “law”, evoke? What ideas from your past, churches, teachers, politics, civic duties?
I feel like most people would say “law” is archaic, like slavery, weighty, death, and fulfilled by Jesus. Many believe that the law was the means by which Jews tried to obtain salvation through works and ultimately failed. In response, Christians may say, God sent His Son to provide the real means of justification, salvation through faith by grace. Jesus life and death fulfilled the law. Those who still desire to follow the law today are said to be trampling on the grace of God.
I, like so many genuine God-followers, used to view the Torah in this way. But I also used to long to love the law, and even other Scriptures, the way David, Ezra and Nehemiah did. There was a desire for something more, and I couldn’t quite grasp it. I knew did not cherish God’s foundational law.
But something has changed in me.
This week, when I was asked the question, “how do you view the law”, I was overwhelmed with emotion. My heart leapt. I felt like David when he proclaimed his deep love for God’s law. I truly cherish the law.
My soul is consumed with longing for your rules at all times. Seven times a day I praise you for your righteous rules. Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble. I hope for your salvation, O Lord, and I do your commandments. My soul keeps your testimonies; I love them exceedingly. I keep your precepts and testimonies, for all my ways are before you.
Psalm 119:20, 164–168 (ESV)
Instantly, our marriage, and the emotions connected with our vows, flooded my memory.
The beautiful parallel is this: the law, the Torah, is our marriage vow to God and His to us!
God made a covenant, a vow, to everyone who wanted to walk with Him. He vowed to all Israel, as well as foreigners who are desire to be God’s people. He vowed to those who stood before Him at the Covenant ceremony, as well as all the generations who were not present that day. That is pretty inclusive! His Covenant is open to anyone who desires to walk with Him! He longs for a relationship with us.
You are standing today, all of you, before the Lord your God: the heads of your tribes, your elders, and your officers, all the men of Israel, your little ones, your wives, and the sojourner who is in your camp, from the one who chops your wood to the one who draws your water, so that you may enter into the sworn covenant of the Lord your God, which the Lord your God is making with you today, that he may establish you today as his people, and that he may be your God, as he promised you, and as he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob. It is not with you alone that I am making this sworn covenant, but with whoever is standing here with us today before the Lord our God, and with whoever is not here with us today.
Deuteronomy 29:10-15 (ESV)
When you the passage below, imagine a wedding. Vows are being exchanged between two people who desperately love each other. They desire to safeguard their precious relationship with safe boundaries. Obviously these are not the specific laws, but only the final commitment to the entirety of it. It’s final “I do”.
This day the Lord your God commands you to do these statutes and rules. You shall therefore be careful to do them with all your heart and with all your soul. You have declared today that the Lord is your God, and that you will walk in his ways, and keep his statutes and his commandments and his rules, and will obey his voice. And the Lord has declared today that you are a people for his treasured possession, as he has promised you, and that you are to keep all his commandments, and that he will set you in praise and in fame and in honor high above all nations that he has made, and that you shall be a people holy to the Lord your God, as he promised.
Deuteronomy 26:16–19 (ESV)
God and His people exchanged vows! Do you hear that?? And, like I stated before, this isn’t a vow just for Israel at that time. He exchanged vows with us and anyone who desires to walk with him! We are His treasure and he wants to honor us above everyone else. Not because we are better, but because we have chosen Him and He has chosen us! How beautiful is that?!
But there are boundaries set by God that define the relationship. The actual vows. He readily expresses His jealousy over us. He wants our love and commitment. But, not however we feel like giving it. He wants to be loved in a way that is meaningful to Him. Generally, it isn’t considered love if someone “loves” in a contrary manner. It’s called selfishness.
If I decide to show Scott how much I love him, I’m probably not going to plan a spa day. Just him and me, enjoying our time together, getting pedicures and massages. I would, of course, tell him how much I love him the entire time. But, still that would be selfish of me. This does not express my understanding of him or desire to please him. Instead, it shows him that I really just wanted to “love” him the way that would satisfy me.
Scott and I wrote our vows. We didn’t just blindly commit to love each other without concrete ways of what that meant. We wanted tangible boundaries to begin our marriage. These specifics don’t cover ALL the ways we need to keep our marriage thriving, but instead lay a groundwork for the bare minimum. We could do more but we definitely shouldn’t do less than our commitment in our vows. And to be honest, the closer we have become over the years the more second nature loving each other has become. We have discovered, not just a desire to keep our vows to a tee, but a love that drives us please each with all our hearts beyond that original vow.
And that is exactly what God desires, too. He said eventually these laws won’t just be some external list of boundaries, but they will be inscribed on our hearts. Our deep love for God will come overflowing from our hearts, extending well beyond the vows. Not only will we know we should love Him in a certain way, but we will desire to do that with everything that we are!
But, how gracious of God to actually give us boundaries that show our love for him! Without that we are just guessing the desires of the King of the Universe. It would have been cruel of Him to expect our love, but never outline what that would look like.
And just as a side note, because it’s a whole different conversation, keeping our vows is not about eternal salvation. It never was! And, yes, Jesus did follow the law completely, thus “fulfilling“ it, but that doesn’t exclude us from following his example. Following the law, Torah, is about loving God within the bounds that He desires.
There is one more beautiful piece of this parallel. (Actually, there are even more in this very complex ceremony, but I’m not going to get to them today.) Near the end of a wedding we usually hear, “Take this ring, as a sign and a seal of the vows you’ve made to each other today.”
God gave us a ring!! It reminds us whenever we see it that we have a Covenant with Him, that we are His treasure and He is our God. It shows the world that we are already taken! The sign is the Sabbath! It is a gift to us, to value and remember weekly. We don’t keep Sabbath only because we need rest from the stress of the week. We honor Sabbath and set it apart because it reminds us of our vows and declares to the world that we are His! (As a side note, God has given a number of other signs so that we remember His vows. Take a look sometime and see how many you can find.)
Above all you shall keep my Sabbaths, for this is a sign between me and you throughout your generations, that you may know that I, the Lord, sanctify you. You shall keep the Sabbath, because it is holy for you.
Exodus 31:13-14 (ESV)
So, now when I ponder my thoughts and feelings about the law, about Torah, I am literally overwhelmed with love. Love for these precious vows and love for the great God with whom I’ve exchanged them. I’m in awe at the love and grace shown to me by giving me these boundaries. It demonstrates his unfathomable love for me, and I want with all my heart to honor him by being faithful to him forever.
After years of God's people being in exile because of their disobedience, Nehemiah sought to restore Jerusalem. He rebuilt the city walls, peoples' homes and God's house. He eventually brought out the ancient Torah scrolls and together with Ezra lead the people of Israel in a huge revival. They read the commandments of God out loud to all the people. They wept when they realized they had forsaken their vows. But God does not forsake His vows to us. He vowed to wait for us to return. And when we repent and desire to walk with Him again, and remember our vow, He will be our God and we will be His people. Below is an except from Nehemiah’s prayer as he began work to restore Jerusalem.
And I said, “O Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments... Remember the word that you commanded your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples, but if you return to me and keep my commandments and do them, though your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of heaven, from there I will gather them and bring them to the place that I have chosen, to make my name dwell there.’
Nehemiah 1:5, 8-9 (ESV)
I want to memorize, recite, repeat, remember Torah so I know exactly what our vows are. Not because I’m oppressed by them or am scared I can’t keep them perfectly, but because it makes the King of the Universe pleased. And I have committed to a relationship with him, where I love him and he loves me!
Just like my vows to my husband.
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